dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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