A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just puked most of my soul out..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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