All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
