It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
