my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
