Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
