Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Randomize