i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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