idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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