Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
two words...techno handjob
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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