Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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