you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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