The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
