He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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