We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
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