When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm at about main and main street
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
