i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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