4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dignity is for republicans.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize