she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
