Betty ford says i'm here all night
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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