I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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