Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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