Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
