Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
