I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize