Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
