the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you will always have a special place in my vag
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
