with your own penis?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
