"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
