I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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