i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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