there's paper in my vomit.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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