love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
