Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
People in love make me want to vomit
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i now understand why vodka
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
