I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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