There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
