My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
