thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
