Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize