Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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