Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
