hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize