you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's always time for handjobs
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
