How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
