Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
