He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
