remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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