If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
