I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
