just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
