remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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