SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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