Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
