Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
