You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
