hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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