She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
