I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
