definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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