I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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