Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize