Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
