I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
