If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
