Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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