I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
