New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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