just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Randomize