he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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