Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
