I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
