i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
