those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
