I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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